Ass Industries

Ass Face Sticker Pack FREE SHIPPING!

2012-02-12T11:52:00.000-08:00

Only 12 of these packages are built and ready to ship. TWELVE only!! Be the first or the last to get a tight ass kit. Two color donkey ass face, two color butt cheeks, Ass Wax plus a sticker sheet (Cut yourself) and a bunch of other stickies...Colors are random so everyone's kit is a bit different. $19.00 FREE SHIPPING!

Die-Cut Ass Stickers

2012-02-12T10:54:00.001-08:00

Ass Industries Limited Edition sticker packs will be available in a couple of hours. Two color Ass Face and our signature two color logo Ass Cheeks. Check back..

Mt. Baker Banked Slalom Preparation A

2012-02-11T06:23:00.000-08:00

Team Asswipe Chris Carr is running some slippery ass Haul Ass Wax today. Combined with the secret Salomon prototype "Torn Anus". This is a perfect match up for wet fart speed! Using this type of anal propulsion is very danger-ASS! If he falls his ass will literally rip apart. Have you ever fallen at top speed and your two butt cheeks separate? Ass-Rippa!

Taking care of Bizznass!

2012-02-08T09:08:00.001-08:00

Since 1998 check the time brah..
trademark, trade mark, or trade-mark[1] is a distinctive sign or indicator, used by an individual, business organization, or other legal entity, to identify that the products or services with which the trademark appears originate from a unique source, and to distinguish its products or services from those of other entities.
A trademark may be designated by the following symbols:
™ (for an unregistered trade mark, that is, a mark used to promote or brand goods)
℠ (for an unregistered service mark, that is, a mark used to promote or brand services)
® (for a registered trademark)
A trademark is typically a name, word, phrase, logo, symbol, design, image, or a combination of these elements.[2] There is also a range of non-conventional trademarks comprising marks which do not fall into these standard categories, such as those based on color, smell, or sound.
The owner of a registered trademark may commence legal proceedings for trademark infringement to prevent unauthorized use of that trademark. However, in some countries unregistered rights in a sign may also be enforced. These are often known as 'common law' rights. An unregistered sign is usually only protected within the geographical area within which it has been used or in geographical areas into which it may be reasonably expected to expand.
The term trademark is also used informally to refer to any distinguishing attribute by which an individual is readily identified, such as the well-known characteristics of celebrities. When a trademark is used in relation to services rather than products, it may sometimes be called a service mark, particularly in the United States.[2]

Planting Ass

2012-02-03T15:20:00.001-08:00

Shane Flood shot from Frequency Snowboarders Journal a minute ago. Peep the "I heart ass" sticker placement.

Mountain Riders VT.

2012-01-30T06:51:00.001-08:00

Check out this ASStonishing creation of ingenuity made by Geoff Murchie and the Mountain Riders shop in Ludlow VT. Product location is critical in shops. If your wax and point of purchase items are correctly placed your sales will increase. Don't keep wax and accessories hidden under the register and behind closed doors. If you ever need a piece of Ass in VT. swing by the Mountain Riders shop and get some, wax that is.

Waxoholics Anonymous

2012-01-25T07:23:00.000-08:00

All temp brewing.

"Preparation A" rub on paste possibly for 2013? We made a couple test pours this fall. Gotta tell ya there is something in there that 99.99% of the rest have not considered. Maybe they have butt..Talks cheap. Rub on wax is a pain in the ass to put into packaging. Just imagine using a milk jug to fill a billion tea cups, its messy. Have you ever seen a ..Ahh c'mon ya think we were gonna give it away.

Don't Eat Wax Dumb..Dumb...

2012-01-20T06:49:00.000-08:00

Although most natural waxes are esters, paraffin waxes are hydrocarbons, mixtures of alkanes usually in a homologous series of chain lengths. These materials represent a significant fraction of petroleum. They are refined by vacuum distillation. Paraffin waxes are mixtures of saturated n- and isoalkanes, naphthenes, and alkyl- and naphthene-substituted aromatic compounds. The degree of branching has an important influence on the properties. Millions of tons of paraffin waxes are produced annually. They are used in adhesives, in foods (such as chewing gum and cheese wrapping), in cosmetics, and as coatings.

Buy Bulk!

2012-01-20T06:40:00.001-08:00

These are some pictures I took about 6-7 years ago. The colors of the wax were mellow. We finally found the sourcing and developed the formula for what the wax looks like and performs like now. The assman has been digging through old emails finding pictures as my old mac finally crashed. Of course no photo's were backed up. Dumb ASS.

Ass Lab

2012-01-16T12:41:00.000-08:00

We are working around the clock at our facility. Wax production is mASSive!

Beast of the East

2012-01-16T11:43:00.000-08:00

Waterville Valleys little devil rides that ass. Shouldn't you?

Great Assets!

2012-01-09T12:10:00.001-08:00

FREE SHIPPING!

2012-01-08T12:09:00.000-08:00

Free Shipping to celebrate our win ass the fastest wax in the world. We are coming in hot!

Haul Ass Wax Lab

2012-01-08T11:15:00.000-08:00

In order to make the smoothest fastest ass mold we hired this small buzzard. This little guy survived the wrath of ass. Do not worry, it was his mother dipping him into the injection mold simulator. We are also OSHA approved and all ass is made in the USA!

Which Wax Works Best?

2011-12-30T09:39:00.000-08:00

The results are in and Haul Ass Wax took first place! With a 8.5 second drag strip time between an average of three runs. We smoked the second place competitor by a full tenth. If you prefer casing jumps and your friends waiting up for you don't try our wax.

Minister of Eastern Propaganda

2011-12-30T09:12:00.000-08:00

Pat Bridges has waxed some ass in his day.

Ass Wipe Goggle System

2011-12-30T09:05:00.000-08:00

1998 was a good year.

Who Cares?

2011-12-30T08:50:00.001-08:00

Shane Flood carried the Ass flag since the beginning. He worked at a factory in R.I. 3rd shift making wax lips. Would drive to Wachusett Mtn. and ride till 10p.m and repeat. On the weekends he would drive to Waterville Valley and get at it again. He busted his balls to get where he got. Floyd would blow his clutch mentally every time he rode. This is when he would transform into a savage Floyd. Kink rails were his bitch before a lot of riders knew how to 50-50 a 12 stair. I owe you a beer or five when I get to Portland one of these days Flood. Thanks.

Tight Ass

2011-12-30T08:21:00.000-08:00

Did the El Gato Negro sketch this ass?

1998 "This Ain't No Pickle Party"

2011-12-30T08:17:00.000-08:00

Check the retro team list. Kinda got roots right??

Year 2000..

2011-12-30T08:10:00.000-08:00

2000-2001 Catalog

Ass Industrial Corp.

2011-12-30T08:03:00.000-08:00

Poured and raised in Boston guy. Get pissah!

Reading Mass Kicks Ass!

2011-03-30T06:48:00.001-07:00

Here at the Ass lab we would like to thank the Reading Fire Department. Daily they risk there lives for ordinary slightly retarded citizens. Shown here they risk there own jobs representing state of the fart technology. Ass saves lives, please call our 1-900-ASSWAX direct number if you do not like how these guys drive.

Tasty Ass

2011-03-03T17:03:00.000-08:00

Dingle Berry Scratcher.

2011-03-01T06:09:00.000-08:00

Don't be one!

2011-02-22T09:39:00.001-08:00

Ass Wax Museum

2011-02-13T09:42:00.000-08:00

We have a fetish for wax.

Chris Carr on YOBeat!

2011-02-10T06:14:00.000-08:00

I have been slow the last week or so. Chris and Ted are big shits! Click on the title to go to YOBEAT.COM

Free Shipping Through February 14th

2011-02-05T07:38:00.000-08:00

Blow it out your ass!

2011-01-31T16:25:00.001-08:00

Geez..Bad Kitty~~

2011-01-26T02:24:00.000-08:00

Shake Dat Thang!

2011-01-06T11:22:00.000-08:00

Mountain AssAssination Machine

2010-12-16T06:40:00.000-08:00

Would love to try this thing out on a powder day.

Ass Munching

2010-12-16T06:32:00.001-08:00

Ass wax is for winners not whiners.

2010-12-16T06:16:00.000-08:00

Old news is good news. Colleen Quigley loves the podium. Big up's!

Win Pat Moore's Gear Here Including Ass Wax!

2010-11-19T11:08:00.000-08:00

Click on the title above and get a direct link! Thanks to Pat and Snowboarder Mag! Represent, Represent!!

Ass Eating Pants!

2010-05-18T06:16:00.000-07:00

Does this shoe make me look fat?

2010-05-12T06:24:00.000-07:00

Panzy ass

2010-05-12T06:14:00.001-07:00

Loon Mtn. NH

2010-03-29T08:15:00.000-07:00

Thanks Preston!

Just Weird.?

2010-03-22T05:40:00.001-07:00

Yeah we talk S#!$..

2010-03-12T04:46:00.000-08:00

Borrowed this from 4qconditioning.blogspot.com/

I love Bass!

2010-02-12T07:23:00.000-08:00

"Gimee that fish". "Gimee that filet o' fish.."What happened to that commercial? While working in Arkanz-ass last year I repeatedly sung this song all day. I drove one co-worker somewhat nutz. It was fun.Try it.

The Bushman loves Ass.

2010-02-10T11:17:00.000-08:00

George Bush slappin that ass.

2010-02-10T11:16:00.000-08:00

Eastern Boarder Danvers: Skateboard Safety

Our Bizznass Terms..

2010-02-09T14:38:00.001-08:00

The problem with America. No Credit... than you need street credit!

Not very nice..

2010-02-02T15:49:00.000-08:00

This Saturday at Waterville Valley.

2010-01-27T07:07:00.000-08:00

Free prizes from Ass Industries as well as others. Should be a pretty nassty set up. Photo's coming next week.

Ass Face Baby Born.

2010-01-19T16:57:00.001-08:00

Ass man is working on improving the face of the blog. Please excuse us while we look like this.

Ass Wax Wins Sub Arctic Challenge Race, Butt Loses Beer Chug.

2010-01-17T08:46:00.000-08:00

Ass Wax is faster than the rest of the pack. Watch as the glide efficiency is far superior compared to the rest of the pack. Unfortunately the ass-man could not pound a 22oz miller light tall boy to finish the deal. We will be training for next year by practicing keg stands this summer.

Future Fart-O-Meter

2010-01-07T08:08:00.000-08:00

State of the Fart technology!

Courtesy of Greg Francke. He used to build this kinda of stuff for the hell of it.

Company car.

2009-12-30T05:53:00.000-08:00

Dont be a..

2009-12-30T05:47:00.000-08:00

Ass Mobile Sales Booth

2009-12-29T05:28:00.000-08:00

Geoff Murchie and the Assman cleaned up this old goggle case a couple weeks ago. It's actually so sexy it sells product. The case is located at the Darkside Okemo location. Most stores are still scared of Ass Wax in V.T. Not the Murch man though. He is a true assman. Viva la Murch!

"I LOVE ASS" TM bumper stickers are baaack..

2009-12-16T09:16:00.000-08:00

It's been a while but here we go. Limited numbers so get-er done! Click on the link to the right to get it done.
Graci-ass!

Zito is a cheezball. R.I.P

2009-12-14T19:13:00.001-08:00

If you haven't heard all bout it by now you probably shouldn't. Life lesson's learned in Cambridge will never be forgotten. First time I ever saw a guy suck Redbones bbq sauce off of his fingers mixed with go-cart motor oil. Classic story of my dad pulling a couple twenty dollar bills out of his running short's by his ball sack, to pay for my Tom Knox Santa Cruz deck. Sopping wet mid July stank nut sauce, Zito still accepted the cash. From that day forward Ken liked my dad I think more than my panzy ass. Z.T. MAXIMUS will never die! Who has pics of the Powell demo from like 1990????

Bumpa Sticka's are back fo dat ass!

2009-12-14T09:21:00.000-08:00

Bumpa stickers wiil be available online for $3 in a day or so. Need to figure out big carte.com. ish.

FREE Hot Ass Wax at Darkside Okemo.

2009-12-14T08:42:00.000-08:00

Come one come all. We will be outside waxing whips this Saturday from noon till 5' oclock FREE of charge. Ass Wax and new 2009 "State of the Fart" bumper stickers and die cuts will be for sale. Get yo ass waxed! Snowboards only please at this location. We love two planks but Darkside is a snowboard store...

Sometimes we all..

2009-10-09T06:20:00.000-07:00

Brain Fart!

2009-10-09T06:15:00.001-07:00

I imagine this doesnt smell very good. Maybe like rotten oriental dumplings?

Industrial Nation

2009-09-30T17:03:00.000-07:00

Build something..

Grip your Whip!

2009-09-30T16:51:00.000-07:00

Sick of loose nutz. Then stabilize your system with deez nutz.. Actually Screwz!

Do you see what I see?

2009-09-30T16:49:00.000-07:00

Nothing but ass!

Gettin Spooky

2009-09-30T16:42:00.000-07:00

This is the Ass Lab's mascot killer doggie pumkin. Shark-attack!

Buy or Die!

2009-09-10T09:34:00.001-07:00

We are really nice people but we would appreciate your bizznass!

Sniff that Ass!

2009-09-10T09:30:00.001-07:00

Green apple and Banana scented.

This is our cheap ass catalog.

2009-09-10T09:28:00.000-07:00

We are recession proof!

Snack Size Ass

2009-09-10T09:19:00.000-07:00

This is the most sought after wax in the history of snow..Get your shop to get ass!!

Ass Waxer 5000!

2009-09-10T09:18:00.000-07:00

Check Yourself!

2009-09-10T09:01:00.000-07:00

Ass Factory in Production Now!

2009-09-10T08:58:00.000-07:00

Anybody need a 383 4-speed??

2009-07-23T06:19:00.001-07:00

Would go great in your backyard as an ornament or in a Superbee.

N.O.T.

2009-07-23T06:16:00.000-07:00

Just downloaded more Anthrax. I used to put my earphones on before bed and crank it. Good sleeping music at age 11. Woke up juiced!

Check out P-Diddy on TWS

2009-07-23T05:50:00.000-07:00

Pat has been an original assman since a very young age. We give him VIP status at every ass bar in the country.

Global Assasanation

2009-07-23T05:48:00.000-07:00

Enough said.

Sharka-Tack

2009-07-23T05:44:00.000-07:00

I feed my dog wax. So far so good. It poops different colors depending on what color wax she eats. She is very fast..

Motorheadz!

2008-05-28T17:50:00.000-07:00

All has been good this summer so far. Went to a couple car shows this year. Schoolhouse Ice Cream on Sundays in Burlington MA is bangin. Pictured here is a 500hp plus equiped 67 GTO. It has a five speed manual tranny and has been pampered its whole life. Its my buddies dads.Heard it fire up the first time when my friend just had rebuilt the motor. He needed a second eye when firing it up the first time. I was standing in front of the car leaning in under the hood while Billy cranked the key. It's timing was way off as expected and burped raw gasoline into the air that was on fire. It looked like napalm landing all over the front fenders and engine bay. I started screeming and blowing flaming gas balls of fuel off of the fenders. Port matched and polished heads, oiling tricks I wont tell, and stroked..AC on it will burn rubber through all five gears...

Still More Ass Games..

2008-04-15T17:02:00.001-07:00

Im steamed out a bit. One more weekend of riding. Been lazy as the sun is coming out. Wax lab gets fired up soon. Gonna have some fun stuff planned. Anybody wanna get to work??

Some of that Ass at the Games

2008-04-08T17:50:00.001-07:00

Ass Games Ass Cross!

2008-04-07T16:21:00.000-07:00

Ass Cross was a success! Difficulty of the course weeded out the scared. Thanks everybody for coming. We will be posting more pics over the next couple days. Legend Brian Barb gives us a little blast of his ass. Tommy J. poppin a firecracker.

Call us 24hrs!!!

2008-04-05T17:48:00.001-07:00

This is the best thing Ass has seen this week. I wanted to see this for three years. This is our first new graphic in a long minute. I got up early to go to my buddy's new re-built from scratch, screen printing machine. Anodized, greased, and bitchin! No one builds a better machine..Challenger #1! Thanks Lester and Kyle. I wanna blow that bitch up one day. Mulch did the State of the Fart graphic. Untouchable and timeless.

2008-03-31T14:08:00.001-07:00

Im Kissing Toilet Flusher's Goodbye!!!

2008-03-20T22:04:00.000-07:00

Ive had about 10 jobs in my life. Springs Brook Park, Friendly's, painting houses, landscaping, house demolition, Grenade, Composites,Purity Supreme, Eastern Boarder and this one making toilet flushers. I took it in desperate need to fund Ass. It did me well, and got me going again. But the hours 5-2am were just as shitty as the flusher. I never quit a job and said " I hate my job". But this one blew! I always woke up cranky on Saturday and never brushed off that mild no sleep hangover by Monday. Boss was a complete bozo with no respect for others. Good luck running the late night guys. You never wanted to work as a team or act like one. Actually call our new number if you need help, 1-900-BITCH-ASS!!!

Ass Industries Catalog 1998!

2008-03-20T08:40:00.000-07:00

Here is our catalog. This catalog is "State of the Fart"! Everybody wants to see a catalog from Ass. So here it is. Check out the first wax pieces poured by Jamie Chomo. Nice two color blends. Very tricky to make as they must bond at the right temperature. Ass wipes were a great promo piece and are still the best goggle bags, if we get the time to make a few...We need a heavy duty Singer sewing machine. Anybody got one? Riders shown are Jaime MCcloud, Nick Francke, Erich Rehbein, MFM, and Devun Walsh. The team was so nasty and still is. People were down just because..

Cruisin for a Bruizin..

2008-03-05T09:12:00.000-08:00

Timberlands and some hot pink gloves from K-mart were bitchin to ride dirty in. I didnt want to wear snow pants on the trip cause they looked all stoops an ish. Usually wore jeans on the school trips to Wa-Wa. Me and Mike MCcalister were the only shredders at school at the time. He had a Burtum Performer. He was good but gave up early in the game as well as his three older brothers. I dropped all school sports in the trash about this time soccer, taekwondo, track. It was time to skate and shred and drop the jock strap...
***Burton+Forum =Burtum This will be a "colabo" I imagine in 2020

Stratton Mountain 1988 First Road Trip.

2008-03-04T12:44:00.000-08:00

My dad took me and my friend Booger up to V.T after two or three trips to Wachusset. It snowed like crazy and it was the first time I rode powder. We were pissing ourselves going up the lift with like a foot of fresh. Waxed are boards with the wrong ski wax and stuck right off of the lift. Had to get them tuned and missed first tracks. Epic rest of the day though. I learned how to really carve that day and got a photo. Im looking for it....Thanks pops!

New England Cup 1989

2008-03-04T12:36:00.000-08:00

Waterville Valley 1988 New England Cup Contest. Probably got a good 3" of air. Half pipe was so good that day. Probably should have just tail blocked the lip.

Division 23 R.I.P

2008-03-04T09:05:00.000-08:00

This was a gift to Joey McGuire from Peter Line. This was Peter's first pro-model. I mean first as in number one off of the production line went to the man himself. Division 23 was the illest company in the early 90's. Some reason they thought they needed myself on the East Coast to be pro. All the boards exploded within minutes. I must have gone through 10-15 a season. Kept a stack in the trunk of the whip, like skate decks. The owner decided it was time to team up with Mack Dawg and start Forum a few years later. My dad actually sat down with all the big dawgs and helped write the original Forum business plan. Trip on that shit!!!! He should have asked for a small percentage, instead of money. Take that info to business school kids.

100% Humidity

2008-03-04T08:55:00.000-08:00

Ahhhh shhhhit!

Pinski and myself kickin it in the Mt. Baker Sauna lodge. He's the man behind scenes at alot of places. Does all of Kass's graphics pretty much.

Some people say..

2008-02-28T22:02:00.000-08:00

Spacecraft Art Show.

2008-02-28T10:18:00.000-08:00

Had a good time at the Spacecraft art show. The drinks seemed to be a bit funny. Maybee some roofie's or something was in them. Saw some girl puking on the way out in the car. The next day was brutal but we pulled it together for some runs over in the secret society...

Here's a picture of Ryan in the slalom. He waxed his board with that ass. I was happy it ran well as it could have been very tragic later for me. Ryan would have sent me off a deadly cliff or something if it was slow. Didn't get pics of Josh because I had ants in my pants and couldnt stop riding.

Here kitty... kitty

2008-02-26T22:51:00.000-08:00

I fukin hate cats. No really, Its weird, ive always been crazy allergic to them. Ive dissected two in my life. One in high school and one in college. We tried to smuggle one out in high school but got bagged. So anyways we went to Canada came back on a long drive, pulled in at 1am at the www.snohomishinn.com and chilled. Megs all " I keep hearing something under the bed. Im all " Na your trippin". Go to get under the covers, and inspect the sheets like I always do. I usually sleep on top of the sheets in a sleeping bag at hotels scared of sperms and weird shit. Get in see the stain and think..."Hmm its a pattern sheet or something. Deep breath..put my hand on that, and trip! Its wet. You sleep horizontal, ill sleep on the couch. Wake up at like 2am, and heard some weird noise. Now im fuchin psycho, "were outy" lets sleep in the car. Come back the next day and find the little RAT under the box spring.

I would have liked to pick this cat up by the tail and hucked it into the trailer park right next door. Turns out some crazy bitch in the trailer park has like a billion cats and this little sucker got sneeky and pissed everywhere. Meg smelled my hand after I put it in the piss and said it was a boy cat. Boy cat piss doesnt smell like ammonia she said. This summer I would like to wax a cat, any donors.......

2008-02-24T16:05:00.001-08:00

Wet and Deep fo the Peeps!

2008-02-19T11:15:00.000-08:00

If any body can tell us how to turn off the underline thing we will

send you a free sticker....

Mount Baker is most BITCHIN!

2008-02-18T22:24:00.000-08:00

Dont eat the mushrooms in the forest they will make you feel funny..

Gonna post pics throughout the next week or so of our little trip. Fun times, we laughed..we cried*** Big things, here is a couple pics more to come..

Peep the asslab....

More from B4BC

2008-02-18T22:09:00.000-08:00

These lovely ladies were supporters and killed the rail setup!

Two weeks late here it is....Boarding for Breast Cancer at Waterville

2008-02-18T14:54:00.000-08:00

Thanks everybody for coming out to Waterville Valley. We did big things and raised some loot for awareness. Good times were had by all and we will have more pics coming soon...

Boarding for Breast Cancer

2008-01-29T19:36:00.000-08:00

Ass Industries Wax Rally at Waterville B4BC Event

On Sunday February 3rd Waterville Valley resort will partner with Boarding for Breast Cancer for the 3rd year to raise dollars and awareness for the fight against breast cancer. New for this year Ass Industries will be on site for a special wax clinic. Yes that means free hot ass snowboard waxings. Ass Industries are the makers of such fine products like the infamous Haul Ass Wax, Tight Ass Hardware, soft goods such as beanies, T-shirts, the innovative Ass Wipe goggle system and of course some of the finest stickers this side if the Mississippi. There will be an early sticker release of the B4BC hot pink donkey stickers to represent the event. Twenty custom crocheted pink themed beanies made by Ass Industries will be for sale with all profits going to B4BC. With team members ranging from our own Terrain park manager Luke Mathison, Tanner McCarty and the flying radish Colleen Quigley know this wax is fast! Along with the Pink Rail Jam there will be an out of hand raffle with Ultimate Women’s set-ups and a ton of other products! Raffle tickets will be on sale all day Saturday 2/2 and Sunday 2/3 for a price of $2 a piece or 6 for $10. Registration for the rail jam will be from 8am-10am in our Events Yurt located at the bottom of our Exhibition Terrain Park. The rail jam is open to all, skier and riders. So you only have one choice, get here and help raise some money for B4BC! Click here to check some of the pink raffle prizes.
For more info on this event check http://cl.exct.net/?ju=fe2e15747666037f701479&ls=fdf111737061007c72167873&m=ff051572716605&l=fe9515767661007976&s=fe5517767d62017e771d&jb=ffcf14&t=and for info on all Ass Industries products peep http://cl.exct.net/?ju=fe3615747666037f701570&ls=fdf111737061007c72167873&m=ff051572716605&l=fe9515767661007976&s=fe5517767d62017e771d&jb=ffcf14&t=

Early Color Proto's

2008-01-25T09:05:00.000-08:00

Just some ass that was poured last summer. Got the new color and scent in and tried them out. Wax was to soft and made them do strange things. Purple ones came out the best.

Dripzy doo-doo snacks

2008-01-24T10:36:00.000-08:00

This bottle of wax smells really good. It took a couple months of wax leftovers to complete.